Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
