Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
