I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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