If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
