do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
