i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
