at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
