I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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