I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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