dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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