Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I puked a lego.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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