What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
