How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
How's work?
Spinning.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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