it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm jealous of your bromance
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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