She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My feet surprised me
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