sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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