Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
