I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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