Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
