Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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