it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we made out on top of his cat.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
