I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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