i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Fuck appropriateness.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sober January is a disaster.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
