At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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