I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
