Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm at about main and main street
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
