I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
