I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
