k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
