Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
