Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
