guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
