I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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