Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
