I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
