and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
