my phone needs a breathalizer
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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