my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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