I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
