I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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