I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
