Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
