the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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