Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
