my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
