so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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