last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
