I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
