Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
