They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
smell my finger.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How does it feel to date your dad?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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